Thoughts of you – make my words tie into knots. My thoughts are scattered like these pages that are flying away from me. There were many things that I could have said but didn’t for the sake of being proper. But what is proper or fair about this? – I loved someone that couldn’t love me back.
My words used to be so bold and now they are just ashes, ether. I still get nervous when I talk to you. I still feel what once were butterflies, but they are different now.. the wings are bent and they flutter listlessly like dusty moths around a fading light.
It was foolish, it was everything. It was a mask, a rusted door falling off a hinge.. a broken chair in the middle of the ocean. I wore it for you though, I wore my love just under my breast. So bright I could feel the pulse of it, could feed off of it and now I’m just ready for the world of it to fade away. Washed flush under the waves, the paleness of the the broken and the brunt of it – no more.
Water takes the shape of whatever can hold it, what can carry it – but I can’t hold you here in my heart anymore. I can’t exist on fumes, on vapor. I need more. The chair breaks under the weight of it, the dress bleeds redness into the blue sea. I’m only waiting now for this feeling to fade from a roaring pain to a dull ache.
If you think this is about you it probably is.
If you think this is about you it probably is not.
Credits:
Avatar: Coco Doll
Hair: Argrace
Chair: Anc @ Collabor88
Shed: Junk @ The Liaison Collaborative
Stars: Kalopsia @ Collabor88
Papers & curtains @Kalopsia
Sylvia Olivier 